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Writer's pictureAnnett

Neurodiversity: responsible for splinter & pain?

What I am about to share may seem ridiculous and you may wonder what is the connection with parenting ?


A couple of weeks ago, I accidentally touched the cactus in our bathroom. 


It really hurt. 


A big pointy thorn was stuck deep in my thumb and I couldn’t locate it. 


For about a week, whenever my right hand came in contact with an object, it reminded me of what others said to me for decades:


“You have a very poor concept of special awareness.”


If I was bothered to look deeper, would I find another spectrum of neurodiversity that I fit onto?


While I am writing this: we are just coming out of this year’s second Mercury Retrograde. 


A time of year when humans are invited to rethink, reconsider, recalibrate and reflect. 


No wonder that this foreign object was not going anywhere. 


When eventually the self-healing powers of the body kicked in, I was freed. 


This got me thinking about the old parenting pattern I fall back to the most:


I can only enjoy being a parent, if life is perfect. 


If there is any excuse such as:


🟠 not sleeping well the night before



🟠 not showing up with a smile



🟠 forgetting to pick up milk for breakfast



🟠 one family member being in a bad mood 



🟠 feeling overwhelmed with back to school preparation and so on,


then the day easily is judged as a bad one and I ponder retreat. 


This tiny fragment must have planted a seed 🌱 and invited me to look at the label of clumsiness from a different perspective.


What if some adults and children saw the world differently, saw no separation and perceived themselves as part of the whole?


From Quantum Physics, I learned that if we were to look through a massive microscope, we could not tell where a hand ends and a table starts.


So many of my clients share that they feel deeply uncomfortable with conflict and avoid it at all cost. 


This love for peace and harmony leaves mothers particularly, seem like they are unable to hold a boundary or so they reflect about themselves. 


When it comes to setting limits, my friend helped me find another epiphany yesterday. 


If a parent says to a child: 


“I am available to help with your homework between 5 - 6pm this school year, if you need me” - then these are just words spoken. 


What makes it a learning experience about mutual respect is the action that follows the words. 


(Confirming humanity: written by annett)



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